almanac

you like the weather cloudy and chilly

not so roses and sunflowers who like it 

warm and sunny

and this juxtaposition puts you at odds with your favorite flowers

the former of which grow in your yard

the latter of which you buy at the store

the both of which you call traditional as far as flora and fauna go but with a bit of a stretch and a change of customs might come across as modern obtuse

and take their place along with wriggly furry or scaly stiff critters that may or may not reside in your house…

 

one learns to catastrophize when one grows up never trusting

never relying on anyone

this deficit also causes a lack of childhood dreams 

there was no room for them

they join hometown memories in an void just out of reach of your reality

but still you seek and one alley leads to another 

never a dead end just a constant maze of hallways and passages so complex

that getting through and out the other end seems impossible

but it comes to you that you always wear jeans 

ever since the early hippy days when they were de rigor and to not wear them constituted out of uniform 

and this anchors you and jars loose visions of dead animals dogs cats birds a baby possum half decayed corpses of pigeons baby squirrels and rats eaten and discarded by the very owl babies who nurtured your children

 

and your lovers also the stuff of dreams and concocted imaginings and so you remember that you do dream and not everything edges into catastrophe and sometimes you lust after benedict cumberbatch and once you fancied that donald trump told the truth and you wish the former dream to never end while latter awakens you in a state of dread or hope and you cannot determine which so you return to sleep and catastrophizing and floating through endless mazes and hikes to the hollywood sign.

©KarenCasady2020